Adding Insult to Introduction Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. “Howdy, stranger,” one Texan says. “Where are you from?” The Oxford graduate answers, “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” replies the Texan. “Where are you from, jackass?”
Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: "Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?" Wife looks confused: "But that's your task, honey." “What? Why?” "It’s all over the Bible, dearest." "The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!" The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: "See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."
Every man wants a beautiful wife, a smart wife, a loving wife, a sexy wife, and a cooperative wife. Sadly, bigamy is against the law.
A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time. Judge: “Where do you work?” Defendant: “Here and there.” Judge: “What do you do for a living?” Defendant: “This and that.” Judge: “Take him away.” Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?” Judge: “Sooner or later.”